I'm starting to really dislike November

Well it has been another large gap between updates, I'm not even sure how many people actually regularly check my blog, it would help if blogger would remember not to track my own page views. I've been rather busy on the job search front. Applying for lots of different jobs and having a number of different interviews. Unfortunately I'm still looking which is frustrating because I definitely think my interview's have improved and I am actually giving longer answers now instead of just answering the question and stopping. I've had some great feedback but it's hard not to wonder if it is a numbers game with a lot of people all applying for the same position. It has also been frustrating when companies recruitment processes aren't the best. You can apply for a job, get an interview, get a rejection and get told someone else gave a better interview only to see the same job advertised again weeks later.  In a recent case I haven't even heard back after my interview but the company are seemingly advertising the job again, this when I felt I definitely met the criteria and gave a solid interview. All of that said I know I am very lucky that I'm able to live with my parents and don't have to worry about money for food etc.

All in all it had been a rather busy few weeks with interviews etc. but we had planned a short break away up the north coast again coinciding with the Atlantic Sessions which is what we did last year. I was hopeful that this year would be a lot more enjoyable due to me being in a much better place ( see my post from that time) and that we were staying in the lovely apartment we had stayed in on our last break up the north coast. We planned that me and my parents would go up on the Thursday and my brother would join us on the Friday. We had tickets for gigs on the Friday night as well as a gig on the Saturday night and we planned to come back on the Sunday before heading to the Northern Ireland V Austria match on Sunday evening.

Unfortunately it turned out to be a rather mixed weekend. Our cat Milo who hadn't really been eating well for a while which was rather unusual for him (we had taken him to the vet who couldn't find anything obvious) but who we thought had been improving disappeared on Wednesday night. He hadn't quite been himself for a while but we thought he had maybe had a bug and was taking a bit of time to get over it. This led to a stressful night worrying that if he didn't come back we would have to cancel the trip as we couldn't leave him to come back to an empty house. Thankfully he did come back at 6am and seemed rather perky on it. We took him to the cattery and let the owner who is a lovely woman know about Milo's situation. She promised to keep an eye on him and said she would check his teeth in case that was the issue. Thursday was nice and Friday was a lovely day. Unfortunately on Friday evening we got a phone call from the owner of the cattery saying she was concerned about Milo (also that she couldn't see any issue with his teeth) and asked if it would be ok if she took him to the vet in the morning, we said yes and went out to the gigs. When we got back we had missed calls from her to say she really wasn't happy and she had taken him to our vet (who she trusted and who we have known for a long time) that night. We got a message from the vet saying that he had put Milo on a drip and would ring us in the morning. This led to another very restless night and in the morning we got the call from the vet saying he would rather speak to us in person. At this point we pretty much knew that things were really not good.

On Saturday morning we drove the long journey home and went to the vet's. He explained that Milo's rapid weight loss along with lumps he had found meant that he most likely had lymphoma which is common in cats. He explained that whilst we could prolong things with chemotherapy and steroid pills it would only be for a matter of months. We all agreed that we didn't want to put Milo through that and the best thing would be to do would be to ease his suffering. I am extremely grateful that we were able to see Milo and say goodbye to him. He clearly recognised us and was happy to see us. The whole thing was very calm and peaceful and Milo wasn't stressed at all. It's hard not to think that it would be kinder in some instances if we could do the same for humans.

It's fair to say that it was a very sad day for our family, Milo had turned up on our door as a stray kitten and adopted us as his family (we put found posters up but nobody responded). He was with us for over fourteen years and acted as a constant source of comfort and entertainment. He saw me through almost all of high school and all of university and my PhD and the time after, It is fair to say he became the fifth member of our family. Despite how upset we were unfortunately life is always moving on. Given that we were paying for the apartment and had tickets for the gig that night as well as the Northern Ireland match the next day we felt that it was better to continue as planned rather than go home and sit about being miserable. We weren't really in the mood however we had a nice meal on Saturday night and the music was good even if the venue/the many people not interested in the music were not. The Northern Ireland match ended up being very disappointing, despite how well they have played in the Nations League they had failed to get any points. We hoped that we could rescue some pride against Austria. They managed to come back from 1-0 down only to lose by conceding a goal at the very end of the match.

Last week was tough, Milo was such a big presence in our home and the most regular topic of conversation would be him. It has been difficult not to look for him in his regular spots both outside and inside the house. We miss him terribly but are trying to remember all the great times we had with him. Our neighbours who knew him have been sympathetic but not everyone is. I pity people who don't know the joy of having a pet or those who dismiss cats due to silly stereotypes. We were very fortunate that we had fourteen wonderful years with Milo. Before him we had two beagles who lived to fourteen and around fifteen and a half. We are an animal loving family and it is likely that in the future we will get another pet however it will not be for a while yet. I believe you need to take the proper time to grieve and to process things, I don't understand the people who lose a pet only to immediately get another one.

Me and Milo on the day of my PhD graduation

Sorry for not writing the most uplifting post but thanks for reading, I'm meant to be getting my BAHA on a soft band this week so I will probably write about that at some point.