I am going to continue this cynical l trend from my last post and talk today about surgeries or more rather parents choosing for their children to undergo unnecessary surgeries.
This is a fine line to tread and I understand that it must be hard for parents to not only have to decide which paths to take medically wise in terms of their children who aren't old enough to decide for themselves but also to have to deal with their child's suffering which is made worse by the fact that they can't properly understand why it is happening to them. The question I would like to put forward today is, do certain parents push too many surgeries onto their children?
My answer from what I've read/seen/heard would be yes that CERTAIN parents do essentially force or put pressure on their children with TCS or I guess other similar conditions to go through surgeries which are not necessary and which should be left until the person is old enough to make a well informed decision. Now my view is probably very one sided because I haven't had any surgeries which were anything other to improve my health and or function. In fact I don't think I have had any surgeries (apart from having 3 teeth removed under general anaesthetic ) in the time since I was very young.
Of course as with everything it depends on the circumstances but in my OPINION, purely cosmetic surgeries should be left until the person is old enough to decide if they really want it or not, it may be in some cases that a parent/guardian has good intentions but for example just because a child is born with deformed/not fully developed ears doesn't mean that they have to have an operation to give them normal looking ears unless the child really really wants them and understands the decision fully.
I understand that I will probably strike a nerve with some parents who might feel the need to defend their decisions, but the fact is that I don't know what it is like to be parent and have to make these decisions and only they can know if they've made the right decision but operations are a big commitment, even minor ones pose some risk and I think SOME parents might inadvertently make these decisions without actually thinking about whether or not its the best thing for the child at that time and whether or not they should leave it for the child to grow up and decide for themselves.
Whether a surgery is necessary and whether a child should be old enough to decide is a matter of opinion and yours is as right as anyone else's to you. What I must correct you on, is that no parent takes the decision to let their child have surgery lightly. A parent would cut off their arm to spare their child the smallest of suffering, and every decision concerning surgery will only be made in what they consider to be their child's best interests. Their values and feelings may lead them to a different decision to the ones your parents made for you, but that does not make them wrong, or imply they have not thought it through. A parents love for their child is so deep it is part of your soul, and to presume people head into surgery without thinking of the risks does all parents a disservice. I don't yet kknoow what surgery my son may need, we hope he has the bare minimum, but each decision we are presented with as parents will be carefully considered and we will make the decision that is best for our son.
ReplyDeleteWhilst your reaction is understandable I must point out that I tried to present a fair argument, I don't think that it is the case for all parents but there definitely are cases where the parent may act in their own interests rather than the child's for example I heard about this mother who had her baby undergo risky and unnecessary for a problem that wasn't actually a problem, it was just an inconvenience for her.
DeleteThanks for your reply and sorry if I offended you.
My daughter is 12. She decided at 10 that she didn't want her ears reconstructed. She changed her mind again late last year that she wanted it done. She may well change her mind again, but we will go along with her decision, as will her Surgeon. It's her body, and everything that we have agreed to has been because it was medically essential for her health, growth and survival. This is her first "cosmetic" procedure. It's going to take 8 hours. Not a decision that any of us take lightly.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment, I think at 12 she is probably more able to make her own decisions compared to younger kids. As I've said before I think the majority of parents will act in the child's best interests but I know there are others who won't.
DeleteDon't mean to patronise but I take it you are aware that there are options for ear reconstructions than the rib graft? (which I presume you are talking about)