Well that was a tough month!

Well to say that November was a tough month for me would be an understatement! At the start of the month I was in a bit of a limbo, I had time to recuperate after submitting my thesis and also suffered from a cold and then a cough but I didn't need to start focusing on my preparation for my PhD viva (interview with a external and internal examiner where you defend your thesis) just quite yet. Possibly due to having nothing to really focus on and having so much free time to think about things I started to feel a bit down. I ended up getting some negative thoughts stuck in my head that I would normally be able to shake off. I ended up talking to my parents and felt a bit better but around this time I started to feel off with a constant feeling of nausea. I felt mostly fine otherwise but it didn't do much for my anxiety levels and I started to worry about things I didn't need to worry about. Long story short it was a rough few weeks, I had nausea then I was exhausted, my appetite wasn't great then the nausea went away only to be replaced by my stomach being upset/unsettled. I felt all over the place physically which didn't help my mental state. It didn't help that I had it in my head that it couldn't be a stomach bug or something because I wasn't throwing up but we spoke to the pharmacist who said that's what it likely was and it was normal for it to take a while to pass. I was also worried that my mental state wasn't helping things so it was frustrating when I managed to set my worries aside only to still feel rubbish. There are reports that your stomach can be linked to your mental state and if things are not right in your gut then it can affect your mental health. I have to say I am a believer because I was definitely not myself. It was only at the start of a couple of  weeks that I started to properly feel like myself again which was disappointing because I had actually been away for a short break with my family and despite feeling good on the journey to the place and for most of the first day I really struggled to lift my mood that night and the next day.

So we got back from our break and I was feeling better but now I had to really up my preparation for the viva. I went through the my analyses, I asked my supervisor a lot of questions and I looked up common questions online. On reading through my thesis again I was pleased to note that apart from a few minor typing mistakes/formatting mistakes there was nothing major. The problem with the viva is that it is very hard to know what to expect, everyone's different and each examiner will ask different questions. Mine started on the Friday late morning and lasted over 3 hours with one short break. It was tough because they asked a lot of questions about things I hadn't thought about or didn't think I needed to think about. The internal examiner caught me off guard early on by asking me about a line I had written in the introduction, something that I hadn't given any more thought to after writing it. Long story short it was tough but not overly so, communication was a bit of an issue but the examiners both seemed to be in positive moods. Unfortunately when it came for the time for me to step out of the room so they could make their decision they really took their time. I was left standing out in the corridor for what seemed like ages, at least 20 minutes if not 30.. It didn't help that there was another PhD student doing his viva at the same time and he had finished and found out he had passed. So I had to stand in the corridor and see him and hear people congratulate him whilst I awaited my fate. Thankfully they eventually came and brought me back to the room before congratulating me for passing with minor corrections (very uncommon to pass with no corrections). I only had a few days to relax after the viva until I had to go into hospital to get my wisdom tooth removed, something I will talk about in detail in my next update.

I'm currently waiting for the full list of corrections/revisions and apparently I will have 3 months to complete them but I hope to do it quicker than that to get it out of the way. Once the new version of the thesis is signed off then I will be able to get it printed and hardbound and submit copies to the university, the people who funded me and of course have one for myself. I will then hopefully graduate in the summer. It has been a very strange period, having been so focused on getting through my PhD and getting it all written up and to suddenly finish and have to start thinking about what I want to do next. It ended up being a bit of a perfect storm, negative thoughts, being ill, worries about the future, trying to navigate this transition period, stressing about the viva and then having the stress of the hospital and the subsequent recovery. Thankfully I'm feeling better in myself though obviously the future is still very uncertain for me as to what I want to do next. I find it difficult to sit about and do nothing but I am trying to enjoy some much needed time off and of course I'm looking forward to Christmas though no doubt it will fly by like it always does.


Thanks for reading, I will hopefully have a post about my hospital experience up soon as well.

Spider-man Homecoming and Thor Ragnarok spoiler-free reviews

I realised that I never got around to sharing my thoughts on Spider-man despite it coming out a fair while ago.

Spider-man is probably my favourite superhero and  the original Spider-man 2 is probably still my favourite superhero movie. The Amazing Spider-man movies didn't do much for me so I was very happy when Marvel announced they had done a deal with Sony to incorporate Spider-man into the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Whilst he was great in Captain America Civil War it was hard not to be worried that Sony would find a way to mess up his solo movie. Thankfully it turned out that Homecoming is a great Spider-man movie. It skips the origin story but it is very much a story of a beginner superhero and trying to balance that with school, family and his social life. It has a great villain in Michael Keaton's Vulture who is definitely among the better villains in the MCU. Tom Holland makes a great Spider-man and Peter Parker and I definitely prefer him over Andrew Garfield. I only have a few personal criticisms. Firstly the problem is that it is yet another version of Spider-man so they have made the decision to make it different from what has come before. As a Spider-man fan its hard not to be disappointed that we didn't get a version that managed to include certain classic characters but actually get them right his time. And whilst it is nice to skip the origin story there seems to be a lack of any emotional fallout over Uncle Ben's death.

Loved this scene in the movie, it's like a panel straight out of a comic book

The movie does a good job of setting up Peter's story going forward along with setting up potential future villains. However its hard not to be worried that Sony will again try to mess things up. They seem to be a bit greedy to milk the franchise (they still own the movie rights). They announced a Venom (Spider-man villain who you may remember from Spider-man 3) movie with Tom Hardy in the lead which will apparently be set in another universe from the MCU. They have also  announced a Black Cat and Silver Sable movie which if rumours are true will include major Spider-man villains including one set up in Spider-man Homecoming but again be in a different universe to the MCU thus potentially causing confusion and fatigue among movie goers...

The first Thor was a decent movie but it could be said that the bits on Earth dragged it down. The second seems to be acknowledged as one of the weaker entries of the MCU. It's a decent enough movie but the villain isn't developed at all and ultimately it isn't that memorable of a movie. Thor Ragnarok is the third Thor movie and it is a bit different. It is directed by Taika Waititi best known for his vampire spoof film What We Do in the Shadows. Thankfully it skips the Anthony Hopkins exposition dump at the start and instead jumps right in, it also has a more interesting villain in Cate Blanchett's Hela. The director has definitely had an impact on the movie as there is lots of quirky humour, he also provides the voice and motion capture of an alien character who is very funny. Whilst it is a funny film I have to say I wasn't fussed on all of it and I could really do without some of the cruder comedy moments that I don't think are needed. Another criticism I have is that the movie is predictable at times. Ultimately it is funny, the action is exciting, it looks great not to mention that it has consequences for both the Thor movies as well as the whole MCU going forward.


Thanks for reading!

Thesis submitted!

Firstly let me say I'm not sure how many people actually regularly follow this blog but if anyone does I apologise to them for my lack of posts for a good while now. Just checked and my last post was back in the first half of August! As stated then I was in the process of finishing off my PhD. I ended up working for a good few weeks at home. It was quite stressful getting my thesis put together, I had the majority of it written as I was able to write as I went along but I had to revise my introduction chapter, write a discussion chapter and convert the other four chapters which were in scientific paper format to thesis chapter format. I ended up using Microsoft word to put my thesis together and I've come to hate it bitterly. It is very frustrating to use unfortunately I didn't have the time or inclination to learn how to use other word processing software.

The week that I submitted my softbound thesis was a long and stressful one. I had to finish my thesis and make sure it looked nice, was formatted properly and there were no big mistakes and I had to do a presentation at a seminar for the people who funded my PhD. Thankfully the presentation was just a shortened/slightly altered version of one I had given before however the presentation itself did not go smoothly. They had a microphone hooked up to a PA system but unfortunately when I was talking it kept making feedback noises even after I stepped away from the microphone. It was very frustrating as it kept happening and I had to stop several times but none of the organisers came up to switch it off or to try and help! So the presentation was on the Wednesday and my thesis submission date was the Friday but to make things more  stressful I woke up on Thursday with a bad cold. This combined with issues getting the train and trying to get my thesis sorted whilst my supervisors disagreed about some things wasn't fun! After a final check over the thesis on Friday morning my mum and I took it to a place near our house where they printed it and bound it for me so I had two copies for the examiners and one copy for me. My mum then drove me into town where I got one of my supervisors to sign a submission form before submitting the two copies of my thesis into the submission office.

I have to say it was a bit of an anticlimax! It didn't help that I was suffering from the cold. I've spent the time since then relaxing and recovering from the cold and now I'm recovering from the sore throat that I got after recovering from the cold! I was surprised how tired I was after submitting the thesis for several days after, I guess I had powered through getting it finished and it caught up with me. It's not over yet though, I still have to do what is known as a viva which is a long interview where you have to defend your thesis. It takes place with an examiner from your university who wasn't involved with your work at all and then another examiner from elsewhere. Mine is going to take place in November at some point. Hopefully I will pass that and then it will be a case of making any corrections (hopefully just minor ones) that they suggest. Then I will get my thesis properly hardbound with copies for the university, the people who fund me and of course one for myself.. As for what comes after I have no idea, I will have to start doing research on jobs/potential research opportunities soon.

My softbound thesis, it 215 pages long but that is with double line spacing and I had quite a few pictures/figures/tables/diagrams:

Hiatus

While I do have ideas for future posts I'm not sure when they are likely to be written/posted, currently trying to get my PhD finished so all my writing energy is going into my papers/thesis. Hopefully will get something online at some point.

Not sure if I have any regular readers but if I do then I apologise, thanks for being patient I know I'm not exactly regular with my posts for a good while now.

Thank you.

Amsterdam and other things

Well it seems like a long time ago now but it's only been a couple of weeks since I was away in Amsterdam. I was away for five days with my parents and it was certainly a busy holiday! There was a lot of walking, museums including the Rijksmuseum as well as the Anne Frank House, markets, the city center itself, a canal tour as well as the Amsterdam zoo. We stayed in the Urban Lodge Hotel which I would highly recommend, it was outside the city itself but 5 minutes walk away from the Sloterdijk public transport station. You buy a public transport ticket which allows you to travel on trains, trams, buses and ferries. It was only a short trip to Amsterdam central. The public transport was great apart from the lack of air conditioning. It was particularly warm and sunny when we were there and apparently it wasn't normal for Amsterdam. We got caught out on the first day which turned from cool and very overcast to very warm and blazing sunshine that kept coming and going and we got a bit sunburnt. Amsterdam is a lovely city though the center especially with all the weed shops can be a bit tacky. As for food we certainly didn't go hungry and the food was generally very nice. It was a bit strange being away so early in the summer but it was great to get away and get a change of scene.

As much as I like the idea of another holiday later on in the summer I am coming to the end of my PhD with my funding running out at the end of September so I need to focus on that. I got confirmation today that I don't need to do any more lab work which was both a relief but also a bit anticlimactic! I hope to get the third paper of my PhD submitted for publication soon and will start to write up the next one once I've completed sorting out the data and analysis on the species I'm working on at the minute. Once that paper is written up it will be a case of sorting out the rest of my thesis. I am fortunate that I've been able to write and publish as I've gone along so my thesis will consist mainly of my papers along with an introduction/background chapter and a review/big discussion chapter. I do not envy those who have to do all their write-up at the end of their PhD. As for what comes after my thesis well I will have to do what is called a viva which is essentially an interview where you defend your thesis and go through it bit by bit with internal and external examiners. So all that to look forward to!

Wonder Woman review

I know I'm very late with this but just thought I would share my thoughts on this movie. Is it better than Batman V Superman and Suicide Squad, yes definitely, is it as good as the hype suggests, no. Obviously it has a lot riding on it being the first female superhero blockbuster really, not sure if you can call Catwoman or Elektra blockbusters, it is also directed by a woman. It's hard not to be cynical but you have to wonder if the reason that it is being so highly praised by some people is because of these two factors. It is a decent superhero movie and origin story. Gal Gadot who I thought was overrated in Batman V Superman  is surprisingly good but you do have to wonder why they didn't get her to put on a bit more muscle/bulk up a bit more (not just guys saying that). Not saying she should bulk up as much as Ben Affleck did to play Batman but when you see how some of the other Amazons look it is a bit strange. The action scenes are mostly great, though there is a lot of slow-mo and the cgi isn't great at times. Chris Pine is great as Steve Trevor, but not as fussed on the group he assembles to help them in their mission. There are a number of villains with the two German ones being fairly interesting though there is one scene involving them that is so cartoonish it is cringe worthy. The final act of the movie isn't great and as I predicted the final battle is a bit of a mess. It is a step in the right direction for the DC movie universe that said the more I think about it the more holes I find to pick in the quality of it.

This fight scene was awesome

Hopefully movie studios will see the success of Wonder Woman and make great female led superhero movies, it's a shame Marvel are for once stuck behind with their first female led superhero movie-Captain Marvel not coming out until March 2019. No doubt Black Widow will continue to play a key role in the movies going forward and the Ant-man sequel is titled Ant-man and The Wasp and will apparently give equal billing to Paul Rudd's Ant-man and Evangeline Lilly's Wasp. Warner Bros are apparently going to continue with female led superhero/comic book movies with Gotham City Sirens (female villains) and Batgirl. Lots to look forward to hopefully!

The Meeting

I feel really guilty that I'm so late writing about this since it happened way back in February!

Whilst I have this blog and the Facebook group for those who have Treacher Collins Syndrome as well as being a member of other TCS groups on Facebook I don't have any regular contact with anyone who has TCS in real life. I do have some vague memories of meeting other kids who have it when I was younger but those meetings were organised through our parents. I have become friends with a number of people who have it on Facebook but none of them live in Northern Ireland. However one of them, a young woman called Arti lives in England and we had conversations every now and again. She also helped me and gave me advice on that situation I mentioned before on this blog. She works for the charity Unique which help and raise awareness of people with rare chromosome disorders. She told me that they were organising an event for families with children with rare chromosome disorders which would be held in Belfast. We decided that we should try and meet up and fortunately we were able to to do so! I met up with her at the hotel they were staying in and we had a great conversation. I also met her boss and some of her colleagues.

It was definitely useful for me to sit down and have a conversation with someone who has the same condition I do but who also has had different experiences. We spoke about our home lives, our families, our work and our experiences with TCS. I think she is actually the first person I've met who has a BAHA (bone anchored hearing aid), so it was useful for me to talk to her about that. That said I'm still happy with my bone conductor hearing aid for now. All in all it was a great experience and would make me think about meeting other people with TCS or other facial disfigurements. The only regret I have about the meeting is that we didn't get a picture of the two of us together but hopefully we can change that the next time. She has given me her permission to share her twitter account:-https://twitter.com/Arti_K_Patel, she is much more active on twitter than I am!

Thanks for reading!